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A Wolf's Vegetarian Conundrum: Misunderstandings and Apples

crafted by the TalkiePal team using our TaleWeaver app

Chomp, chomp, chomp, nom, nom.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was just finishing my lunch.

My name's Wolf. Yeah, Big Bad Wolf.

You may have heard the story of Little Red Riding Hood?

About a girl and her granny?

Yeah, seems everyone has.

But my point of view is different.

Let me tell you how the story really goes.

See, once upon a time, I was in the forest.

And I ran out of food. Like, completely.

The cupboards were bare and the freezer, too.

And I'd eaten every last vegetable and fruit in my garden.

Yeah, other wolves might have lunched on little forest critters

or chipmunks or bunnies or something like that.

But I don't eat meat.

Yeah, I'm a vegetarian. At least I try not to eat meat.

I love apples!

I'll take any kind of apple.

Honeycrisp, Pink Lady, Golden Delicious.

But it's a long time until apple harvest.

Then I smelled something.

What's that?

Smells like a girl?

I had to investigate.

And there she was, Little Red Riding Hood.

She looked as plump and juicy as a big sweet red apple.

Little Red waved her cape.

Isn't it pretty?

She said.

Yeah?

I said.

Well, aren't I pretty with this cape?

She said.

I'm even prettier than usual.

Boy, somebody was really full of herself.

My stomach was growling.

Little Red twirled a strand of her hair.

Mother says this cape is grand with my skin.

My skin shines like a pearl.

Or the meat of a ripe apple, I thought, licking my chops.

Now remember, I hadn't eaten in weeks and she looked so delicious.

But then Little Red said.

I can't wait until Granny sees how pretty I am today.

I'm bringing her a pie with butter from Mother.

My stomach growled.

I couldn't believe it.

Two meals.

I'll have Granny for breakfast and Little Red for lunch.

And then that pie for dessert.

My mind was ticking.

Where's your Granny live?

I asked.

Little Red pointed.

Down there in the clearing.

The brown house.

I knew that house and I had a plan.

Let's play a game, I said.

Little Red smiled.

I'm awesome at games.

I bet you are.

You take this path and I'll take that path.

And let's see who arrives at Grandmother's first.

I will.

Because I'm the prettiest and the fastest.

My stomach moaned.

Before it groaned, I ran.

Nobody knows the forest like I do, so I chose the shorter path.

I took a whiff.

What was that?

Apple?

I smelled apple.

I knocked at the door.

Who's there?

Called out a voice.

Is that your granddaughter?

I squeaked.

I've brought you a pie and butter from Mother.

Doors open, Granny said.

Granny tugged at her nightcap.

Green and pretty.

Hey, don't I look pretty?

Pretty like a Granny Smith apple, I thought.

Oh, look how round and pretty I am.

Round, pretty and delicious, I was thinking.

My stomach growled.

What's that noise?

Granny asked.

I couldn't take it any longer.

I had to eat her.

She was no Macintosh apple, but not too bad.

I still felt hungry.

Little Red knocked at the door.

Who's there?

I called out, crawling into Granny's bed.

Your granddaughter, Little Red said.

I've brought you pie and butter from Mother.

Doors open, I said.

Little Red walked in and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

My cape is so pretty, right, Granny?

I clenched my teeth.

I don't know if I can take this.

Granny, Little Red said.

Look, look what deep dark eyes I have.

Mmm, I said.

I'd say the color of apple seeds.

Oh, Granny, she said.

What perfect ears I have.

Look at my ears.

Mmm, shaped like sharply cut apple slices.

Oh, Granny, look what pretty red lips I have.

Oh, I said, maybe like red delicious.

Granny, she said.

What lovely, oh, what lovely soft skin I have.

Oh, I couldn't take it anymore.

I ate her up.

What can I say?

Things look different when you're hungry, right?

She was no Fuji Apple or Crispin.

In fact, to be honest, she was a bit rotten tasting.

But she was better than nothing.

And plus, I got dessert.

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